Aspiring toddler-faced diplomat Selena Gomez is currently in Italy for the Ischia Global Film and Music Festival, but has taken a break from strolling the streets looking like a chola Mrs. Roper to express her thoughts on the conflict in the Middle East. Yesterday, Selena posted this vague-ish “Pray for Gaza” message to the mallrat teenager equivalent of The Guardian, her Instagram account (via TMZ), then elaborated on the picture by asking her followers to “Pray for those families and babies”. TMZ seems to think that the cryptic-ish message shows that Selena is pro-Hamas. But I have no clue if that’s true or not, because I’m a next-level idiot who can’t read the word “Hamas” without picturing a pita chip getting dipped into a delicious tub of Sabra.
Even though the first thing I do when I open a newspaper is flip straight to the Family Circus comic, I do have a rudimentary understanding of what’s going on in the Middle East. However, if any of my friends were to approach me and ask: “Allison, I’m dumber than you (“Impossible, but go on” – Me) and I don’t know how to Google. Can you tell me what I should know about the crisis in the Middle East?”, a look of terror would wash over my face and I’d start sweating profusely from my brain. What I’m trying to say is, anyone who willingly chose to date Justin Bieber for as long as she did definitely has a pile of POGS for a brain, and I’d love to hear Selena Gomez try to explain what’s happening in Gaza. I bet it would start with “So, like, here’s the thing about hummus…”
Here’s the aspiring future Secretary of State at a press conference in Italy earlier today wearing some kind of see-through wedding piñata dress.