Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 18, 2014 / Posted by:

Nestle’s Milkybar, the candy bar that has one British dude seeing DICK!

31-year-old lawyer Robin Jacobs of London is my kind and our eyeballs were obviously cut from the same dick-seeing cloth. Because when most people look at Nestle’s Milkybar, they see a cartoon horse with floppy ears. But when Robin and I look at Nestle’s Milkybar, we see a short white dick with floppy nuts spewing out a stream of skinny man chowder. When we’re both given the Rorschach test and shown a picture that’s obviously two butterflies doing step 2 of the Macarena, we both say it’s 4 cone-shaped peens high-fiving each other. But the difference is, that while I embrace getting slapped in the eyes with all things phallic, Robin Jacobs is shocked and appalled when he’s about to fill his mouth with some milky white goodness and sees a penis head staring at him. Robin Jacobs immediately called The Daily Mail, because THIS IS NEWS and that’s what you do:

“It was a little bit surprising, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it before that’s for sure. What on earth is a penis doing on a children’s chocolate bar? There’s no point denying what it looks like. It is obvious – we can all see it. I eat an awful lot of chocolate but I don’t often have Milkybars – in all honesty I only bought it because it was on offer. I was eating it during the football match and I wasn’t really paying much attention. Then I looked down and I was surprised to see a massive penis staring up at me.

It’s a completely inappropriate picture. The penis in question is even bigger than the child – surely the people making the bar can see what it looks like.”

First of all, “MASSIVE”? How many dicks has Robin seen and is he admitting that on a scale from Jon Gosselin to Jon Hamm, he doesn’t even make the scale? Second of all, he says “I was surprised to see a massive penis staring up at me” like it’s a bad thing. Every time I close my eyes, I pray to see a massive penis staring at me after I open them.

Nestle said that they’re surprised that Robin saw dick, because the image is actually the Milkybar Kid and his horse. A kid and a peen? Is that sucio ass Nestle trying to pull in the Jerry Sandusky demographic?

But seriously, Nestle can try to deny it, but Robin and I see what we see and what we see is obviously a wart-covered thumb dick. And now we know what kind of “milk” Nestle is using in their candy bars.

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