The VMA Nominations Were Announced This Morning And Beyoncé Was Nominated For Everything

July 17, 2014 / Posted by:

You know Beyoncé is so pissed right now. She released a whole album’s worth of ~deep~ music videos, and all she gets are 8 crappy Video Music Awards nominations?!? She probably thought MTV would create a special Beyoncé-centric awards ceremony honoring her achievement in film called the MTV (in association with The Illuminati) Presents Creative Excellence in Moving Pictures: A Tribute to Her Majesty BEYONCÉ!!!

But it is nice of MTV to actually go along with the charade of releasing nominations and not just backing a dump truck full of moon man statues into Beyoncé’s driveway. That’s very thoughtful of them. UsWeekly has the whole list of nominations, but the important ones (aka BEYONCÉ’S NOMINATIONS!!! aka her future wins) are after the jump.

Video of the Year
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX, Fancy
Beyonce ft. Jay-Z, Drunk In Love
Pharrell Williams, Happy
Sia, Chandelier
Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

Best Pop
Pharrell Williams, Happy
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX, Fancy
Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz, Talk Dirty
Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea, Problem
Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc, Wake Me Up

Best Rock
Imagine Dragons, Demons
Arctic Monkeys, Do I Wanna Know
The Black Keys, Fever
Lorde, Royals
Linkin Park – “Until It’s Gone

Best Hip Hop
Eminem, Bezerk
Drake ft. Majid Jordan, Hold On (We’re Going Home)
Childish Gambino, 3005
Kanye West, Black Skinhead
Wiz Khalifa, We Dem Boyz

Best Male
Pharrell Williams, Happy
John Legend, All Of Me
Ed Sheeran ft. Pharrell, Sing
Sam Smith, Stay With Me
Eminem ft. Rihanna, Monster

Best Female
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX, Fancy
Beyonce, Partition
Lorde, Royals
Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea, Problem
Katy Perry ft. Juicy J, Dark Horse

Best Direction
DJ Snake & Lil Jon, Turn Down For What
OK Go, The Writing’s On the Wall
Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball
Beyonce, Pretty Hurts
Eminem ft. Rihanna, The Monster

Best Video With a Social Message
Angel Haze ft. Sia, Battle Cry
Avicii, Hey Brother
Beyonce, Pretty Hurts
J. Cole ft. TLC, Crooked Smile
Kelly Rowland, Dirty Laundry
David Guetta ft. Mikky Ekko, One Voice

The only think more questionable than Beyoncé getting 8 nominations is that Miley Cyrus was given one for rubbing her bare possum poon on a wrecking ball and Terry Richardson for directing it.

Thank goodness the VMAs aren’t presented till the end of August, because Beyoncé needs plenty of time to think up a new publicity stunt. She announced her pregnancy at the 2011 VMAs, dry humped Jay-Z at the Grammys, showed her super-secret wedding video and alluded to Joe Camel’s side piece during the “On The Run” tour. I’m thinking Stuntyoncé will divorce Jay-Z on stage, then reconcile with him during the Grammys, followed by getting re-married in a ceremony conducted by by Basement Baby in an elevator (as soon as she gets a wifi signal in the basement, she’ll find out how to become an ordained minister).

Pic: Tumblr

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