The news today has been shitty, fucked up and depressing and it might’ve made you want to miniaturize yourself so you can sit at the bottom of a bong for the rest of the day. But there has been some good news today. Florida took a break from producing half of this country’s supply of full-fledged fuckery to kill the ban on same-sex marriage in the Keys. Now every whore can get married by Sushi, the Queen of the Keys! Update your BugsBunnySewingOffFlorida.GIF accordingly. The other good news is that the Photo Agency GODS spread thick layers of shiny luxuriousness right onto my eyeballs by giving me these pictures of the most glamorous woman in the solar system Joan Collins holding court on a yacht in St. Tropez. While her husband Percy Somethingoranother and another man, who would obviously gnaw off his own arm for the chance to lick one of her diamonds, helped her down the stairs of her yacht, Joan gave the camera lens BODY, SEX, glamour and several servings of champagne and caviar bloat. This is Robin Leach’s porn.
Joan Collins is 81 years old and she can still take your man, take your company and take everything you love without even trying.
Never mind that the Mediterranean Sea will soon go dry since everyone will drink out of it once they find out that Joan dipped her toes in it, there’s a picture in the gallery of her with a wedgie. That picture needs to be printed out and set on a white gold band, because it’s that’s precious and priceless.