The second Rose McGowan sashayed down the red carpet at the MTV VMA’s in 1998 in a goth dental floss dress and a pair of stripper heels, she was instantly declared a national treasure by the U.S. government, the National Trust for Historic Preservation declared her tits and ass a heritage site, and the Smithsonian commissioned a portrait to hang in the National Portrait Gallery. Sadly, it appears that some high schools have elected to stop teaching the Exquisite Slutty Goddesses chapter in their American History textbooks, because a bunch of treasonous beauty haters came for Rose McGowan on Instagram yesterday.
UsWeekly says that shortly after Rose posted this picture of herself in Afghanistan, not one person asked what the hell she was posing behind (like, is it a drive-thru menu? I’m so confused) because they were too busy shading a bitch for looking like Michael Jackson and telling her to lay off the plastic surgery. Unlike some plastic-faced hookers (*cough* Kim Kardashian *cough*), Rose’s face is the result of a car crash in 2007 that left her face all sorts of mangled and requiring numerous corrective surgeries. And sure, while she’s at Dr. Rad Plastixxx’s Nip & Tuck, maybe she gets him to throw a couple extra collagen injections here and there. Regardless, Rose wasn’t having any of it, and she whooped a trick, Courtney Shayne-style, by responding:
“@katrinabunny coming from, ummm, you. Has anyone stopped to think that Michael Jackson used to be black, and tried to turn himself into a white, possibly Irish person with a cleft chin and a tiny nose? I was born Irish. So fuck off losers.”
Then she threw up a side-by-side picture of Jackson 5-era Michael and baby-dangling Michael with the caption: “Exactly. You dumb fucks. Eat it.” Cut to Michael Jackson in Heaven asking Liz Taylor: “Do you remember me saying anything about wanting to be Irish?”
Here’s Rose leaving an office in NY last week. I don’t really see much Wacko Jacko in Rose McGowan, but I do see a bit of La Toya Jackson, and that’s a high fucking compliment. I’d love to look like La Toya. We all would. Hell, even La Toya has been trying to look like La Toya for the past 30 years.