Sharon Stone is going on vacation and knows that the paps she calls are going to take close-up pictures of her 56-year-old nalgas in a bikini. Sharon told E! News that she knows the tabloids are going to draw a circle around her ass and say that it looks like something you serve with canned peaches to kids when you want them to have a healthy dessert. But Sharon says that her ass isn’t something found in a plastic tub with the name Knudsen on it. Sharon’s ass is way more refined than that, thankyouverymuch.
“I haven’t worked out in a couple of months because I just didn’t feel like it. But now I’m going on vacation and I know what they’re going to do—[the tabloids] are going to put a circle around my ass and do one of those crazy magnified pictures saying, ‘What happened to her ass? It’s a bag of cheese.’ I would just like to say it’s a fine triple crème brie! Right when they zoom in I should have a tattoo on my ass that says, ‘You wish you could get a bite of this.'”
Thank the fuck I’m not fancy and don’t eat fancy cheese, because I’d think of sticking my tongue in Sharon Stone’s ass every time I stuck my tongue in a piece of fine triple crème brie. Now if Sharon said her ass was like a jar of Tostitos queso, I’d be fucked. Eh, I’d eat it anyway.