Chrissy Teigen Once Got Fired From A Forever 21 Shoot For Being Too Fat

July 12, 2014 / Posted by:

Sports Illustrated swimsuit centaur and first class blanket fucker Chrissy Teigen admitted to DuJour magazine (via Daily Mail) that she wasn’t always such an in-demand supermodel. Way way back in the day, long before she was a famous sexy chipmunk or John Legend’s wife, she landed a job modelling mallrat uniforms for a Forever 21 photo shoot. However, when she arrived on set, those judgemental Jesus-loving size-00 hos dropped their Bibles in shock that the chipmunk face on the headshot didn’t also come with a chipmunk-sized body:

“I showed up on set and they asked me if they could take a photo. And they shoot that photo off to my agency, who then calls me as I’m sitting in the make-up chair, and they say, ‘You need to leave right now. They just said that you are fat and you need to get your measurements taken.’”

“And I hate you, Forever 21. I hate you so much. Honestly, you’re the worst.”

She can’t really blame Forever 21, because it wasn’t their decision. Forever 21 is run by a family of Bible-thumping Christ-humpers, so when Chrissy showed up on set weighing 10 lbs over the standard Forever 21 limit of 90, they turned to their good pal Jesus and asked him what he would do if he were in the same situation. At which point Jesus grabbed his cellphone, called up Chrissy’s agent and hissed: “Listen you sneaky Judas, I asked for a model, not one of the elephants from the ark. Tell that bitch she can have her job back when she lays off the loaves and fishes. In the meantime, send over a girl who looks light enough to walk on water, and make it snappy!” 

Here’s more of Chrissy Teigen shopping in New York on Thursday. For someone who claims to hate Forever 21 as much as they say they do, she sure does dress like she shops there. Loose tank top with no bra? Black fedora? Pre-frayed denim jorts? All that’s missing is a $3 dreamcatcher necklace and a bracelet that says SWAG PRINCESS, and I’d swear she just came from a Forever 21 shoot:

Pics: Splash

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