Selena Gomez’s Titties Look…Different

July 11, 2014 / Posted by:

Well, I guess that solves the Blind Item about the chick who’s douche-baby boyfriend told her to stuff her titties full of silicone? On Thursday, Selena Gomez posted this picture of her and three friends looking like 4 demons from The Ring out for girl’s night drinks in Hell to Instagram. Typically the first thing my eyes would be drawn to in a picture like this is food, but since that plate is empty (what a shame), they gravitated towards Selena’s honeydew-looking chest melons. Am I wrong, or is Selena looking a little Christina Hendricks in the chichi area? I know, it was wrong of me to ask that; nobody can look like Christina Hendricks in the chichi area, because Christina received her chichis from the angels, and Selena’s look like they were bought from Dr. David Shapiro.

Then again, judging by this picture of Selena from The Daily Mail, it looks like she might have actually got them from Dr. Nick Riviera. Her titties look like two baby box turtles slowly racing each other to the finish line at her collar bone. Which is to say, they look jacked. You know your tits are a mess when they’re able to draw every ounce of attention away from the giant smears of boob sweat all over your shirt. Those are talented titties!

Here’s more of Selena in New York covering up her possibly-new boobie balls with every pack of clip-in hair she could get her hands on. No Selena! Don’t be ashamed! Wear those patio stone titties with pride!

Pics: Instagram, Splash

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