Kim Kardashian Has Only Spent 9 Days With Kanye West Since They Got Married

July 10, 2014 / Posted by:

“That’s nothing; she’s only spent 9 hours with me since I was born”North West.

It seems that clever hooker Kim Kardashian has found a krafty way to make sure her latest sham of a marriage lasts longer than the previous one. According to Radar, Kim and her current husband Kanye West have only spent 9 days together since getting married 48 days ago, the majority of which were spent during their honeymoons. Ugh, remember how those assholes had two honeymoons? LOOKS LIKE IT WAS WORTH IT.

An “insider” (Pimp Mama Kris, do you ever take a break?) claims that Kim and Kanye have started living separate lives ever since Kanye discovered that his My Size Barbie only cares about Botox, herself, mirrors, herself, herself, herself, and Botox:

“Kanye now recognizes that Kim’s main interest are shopping and lounging around a pool,” the insider said. “It’s really concerning to Kanye that Kim doesn’t even want to try to experience new things.”

That’s not exactly fair; Kim tries plenty of new things. For starters, she’s sampled nearly every penis in the NBA. She’s always on the look-out for new black-market facial fillers. Not to mention how she tries a new husband every two years. Hell, she’s even trying to be a working mother, even though she neither works nor spends time with her child. If that’s not ambitious, I don’t know what is.

Besides, why does Kim need to spend time with Kanye right now? Filming for the 2-part KUWTK divorce episode doesn’t start for another couple of months.

And in case you need more pictures of Satan’s klassiest narcoleptic-faced hooker in your life, here’s Kim looking well-rested and alert at the Valentino show in Paris yesterday, as well as attending a Vogue party with the illiterate model one. Both times she decided to wear those sandals that make her feet look like stale loaves of challah, I see.

Pics: Instagram, Splash

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