Drunk Uncle’s favourite channel, Fox News, took a break from being the backwards voice of batshit insanity to address Kanye West’s cringeworthy rant comparing paparazzi attention to rape (#yesallkanyes) on Tuesday night’s round-table talk show Outnumbered (I bet 50% of their audience comes from people expecting to see an MTV dating show from 2004). The majority of the panel agreed that Kim Kardashian’s latest husband is an insensitive, deluded dick sore who’s totally out-of-touch with reality, but when it came time for “Hollywood actress” Stacey Dash to comment, she pulled a Dionne and drove the conversation onto the freeway by chiming in with this WTF nugget:
“For Kanye to say ‘rape,’ maybe he needs to spend some time on Rikers Island, go to Rikers for a while, and then he’ll know what rape is.”
Clearly she could tell by the panel’s dead silence that if they weren’t live, they’d start screaming “NOOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!” like Dionne’s boyfriend Murray, so she put those “Hollywood actress” skills to good use and attempted a flawless um and I-i-i filled segue into a defense of the paparazzi:
“I don’t get celebrities not understanding that the paparazzi are doing their job.”
That’s easy for Stacey Dash to say; the only person who wants a current picture of Dionne from Clueless is the chick at the DMV. But seriously, Stacey’s probably swiping at Kanye because he didn’t let her keep that hot blue and orange tube dress from the “All Falls Down” video.
And doesn’t she realize how redundant it is to suggest Kanye spend some time at Rikers? He’s already serving time in the worst prison in America: The Kardashian Kompound.