TMZ says that once again, Justin Bieber has avoided being crowned the cutest lil’ cupcake in juvie because he’s plead no contest to egging his neighbor’s house back in January. The L.A. County District Attorney took 5 months trying to decide if egging your neighbor’s house like a punk bitch baby is a misdemeanour or a felony, and they settled on charging him with “misdemeanour vandalism”.
Sources say that the only bars Justin will be behind are the ones in his crib, because this afternoon his lawyers are sweeping all the eggshells under the rug by taking a plea deal. So instead of real-life Scared Straight, that constipated brat will be on probation for a year, be forced to do some bullshit community service, and pay $20,000 to his old neighbor to repair the egg damage done to his house. Basically the TL:DR of that plea deal is that Justin will be punished with nothing, nothing, and nothing.
I thought that getting caught on tape trespassing on your neighbor’s property and covering their house with breakfast foods while acting like a total piece of human garbage would be the kind of thing you do a bit of time for, but I guess Lady Justice just does not give a fuck. Bitch probably pawned her sword and a scale for an 8-ball and a bottle of vodka. Every day is like 2-for-1 Margarita Hour at Baja Sharkeez for Lady Justice now. I’m sure you can find her every night at the club wearing her blindfold as a tube-top and working under the name Lady Just-A$$. “I sentence you to a good time! WOOO! I don’t gotta work tomorrow, pour shots in my mouth!”