Miley Cyrus’ living room altar to her fallen dog Floyd wasn’t a tribute enough, I guess, because yesterday during a party at her house she continued to honor him by getting his face inked into her body. But Floyd is shaking his head and spitting on that shitty tattoo from heaven, because that isn’t an honor, it’s a dishonor! That tattoo is offensive to Floyd, because a) It looks like it was done in 7th grade home room with a BIC, a lighter and a safety pin, and; b) That doesn’t look like Floyd, it looks a barrel-chested cat pig. The ultimate dishonor is making a dog look like a cat.
Miley getting a crappy tattoo is one thing, but her friends got the same tattoo and one of those friends is Wayne Coyne from The Flaming Lips.
What are you going through, Wayne?!
Wayne Coyne’s family needs to speak to an interventionist right away, because a mid-life crisis has taken a sharp, ugly turn down It Wasn’t Not Funny Blvd. when the mid-life crisis haver is partying with Miley Cyrus and getting her dead dog’s face tattooed into his body. Wayne Coyne is 53 years old and 53 years old is way past the point of Too Old For This Shit. Wayne needs to take his ass home and after he Googles the address to his nearest laser tattoo removal place, he needs to email Iyanla right away, because his life needs fixing. If you should ever find yourself around Miley and she offers you a joint, run away immediately, because whatever kind of dark-sided lizard witch craft herbs she mixes her shit with causes hos to do crazy things that they can’t come back from (see: WAYNE COYNE).
You know you’re far gone when emo pony Trace Cyrus, who didn’t get that tattoo, comes off like the reasonable and sane one.