A Feather Fell On Katy Perry And She Thought It Was A Message From An Angel

July 4, 2014 / Posted by:

In a move that totally isn’t an obvious act of blatant damage control, Katy Perry has challenged the claim that she’s a song-stealing dork-sided gorgyle by proving she’s still cool with the big man upstairs by tweeting about the religious experience she had during a recent show in Florida. I know what you’re thinking: religious experience + Florida = she saw a drunk diamond named Angel get arrested for giving a sloppy blow job to a cheeseburger in a Waffle House parking lot. Sadly, no; it involved an angel, but not one that just came from a Daytona Beach bike show.

DUH – of course there are angels watching her ass. God needs to make sure those two giant investments he gave Katy are protected. God invented gravity, so he knows that her tits will be the first to hit the ground if she fell, so God he hired two angels to follow her around and whisper “Don’t forget Katy! Always put one foot in front of the other when walking!” to make sure she remains upright.

Then again, maybe God and angels don’t exist, and that feather was just from a dead pigeon that got caught in an air vent, and Katy mistook it for an angel feather because she was tripping balls from inhaling all that freon-laced Florida air. Yeah, that’s it.

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