Question Of The Day: Would You Blow 24 Dudes In A Bar For A $4 Bottle Of Cava?

Stop shaking your heads “hell yes,” John Traavolta and Parasite Hilton. You’re not part of this discussion. The class already knows that you’ll do it for free.

The Daily Mail, where I get all my blow job orgy news from, says that Mayor Manuel Onieva has launched an investigation into a video of a tourist, who is reportedly from Britain, sucking on 24 peens during a sex game in a bar on the Spanish resort town of Magaluf. The video went viral today and I don’t think that’s the only thing that went viral. In the video (there’s a semi-censored NSFW version here), the chick puts a peen in her mouth, barely sucks it for a millisecond, jumps to the next one, does the same thing and so and so on. Chick is a speed sucker and it feels like she goes through 10 dicks in 30 seconds. It’s like watching the Energizer Bunny on meth being the pass-around-patty at a blowjobs-only sex party. Apparently, this sort of thing isn’t uncommon in Magaluf. Many bars host sex parties where they get chicks to do sex stuff on dudes as the crowd and DJ cheers them on. Mayor Onieva says that “mamading” parties (“mamada” means beej in Spanish, basically) are illegal and the bar could get into trouble.

The Daily Mail also says that after putting 24 strange dicks in her mouth, the chick got a bottle of cava worth 3 euros. Okay….

If she was just really in the mood to suck on 24 floppy and semi-soft peens that she didn’t wash beforehand and it wasn’t about a prize, then I say, you do you (and those 24 peens), bitch. I am not judging her for that at all, because who hasn’t been in a bar and thought to themselves, “I just really want to suck off everybody in here.” Just me? Okay, then. But if she was doing it for a $4 bottle of cava, then I need to ask, how bad is the economy in Britain? Has it really come to that? She should’ve at least aimed for a drink a dick. Or since she might’ve put a little HPV, herpes, gonorrhea and chlamydia on her tongue while she was sucking off all those strangers, the bar could’ve at least thrown in a bottle of sparkling antibiotics.

Sucking off 24 dudes for a bottle of $4 cava is the definition of “she don’t love herself.” I mean, that’s like sucking off 24 dudes for a bottle of Strawberry Hill. Hmmm, since I put it that way….

I really wish that after she blew the last dude on the blow job train, she jumped up and screamed, “I’ve got a cold sore! Joke’s on all of you skanks!”

And if you need the answer to my headline question, then you really don’t know me.