Scott Disick’s List Of “Summer Essentials” Is Exactly As Scott Disick-y As You’d Expect

July 2, 2014 / Posted by:

The hard-to-tweeze infected ingrown taint hair on the waxed no-no of the Kardashian family, Scott Disick, has shared a list of his “Summer Essentials” on the social media app Snupps (I’m positive Snupps is also the name of Walmart’s generic equivalent of Schweppes) and even though he didn’t fall from Pimp Mama Kris’s spoiled whore-droppin’ hole, his list proves he’s just as big of a tacky vapid vulgar shallow asshole as one of her own rotten krotch apples.

According to Us Weekly, Scott’s “must haves” while filming Slow One and The Beast Terrorize The Hamptons this summer are a $400,000 Lamborghini Aventador, a $32,000 Rolex Yacht-Master II watch, $20,000 worth of Louis Vuitton luggage, three pairs of $315 sunglasses, and a $150 pair of personalized swim trunks that say ‘A TINY PENIS RESIDES IN ME’. No, they say ‘LORD DISICK’ (they don’t have to say ‘tiny penis’ because the car does that for him).

Scott’s list of summer essentials is actually pretty modest; he could have asked for 10 Lamborghinis, a talking Shiba Inu, and his own private island on Mars, and PMK would have to give it to him because he’s such an integral part of the show. Without Scott’s manufactured drama, The Slow One would have nothing to do but stare off into space while looking like an even-more comatose version of Kim. Without Scott, Kourtney is totally useless. I mean, technically she’s useless with Scott too, but in terms of what she brings to the show…

And speaking of useless, here’s Kim, Kourtney, Scott, the model one who can’t read for shit, and Stephen Baldwin’s dum dum daughter at a carnival in the Hamptons. Poor Kim – literally every time she turned around, there was another carny informing her that carnivals no longer have Freak Shows, but that if she’s looking for work, they think the Ripley’s Believe It or Not! in Niagara Falls is hiring.

Pics: Splash

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