About a week before Shia LaBeouf ruined Cabaret for everyone and tried to cover the faces of police officers with his spit, he brought a heavy dose of fuckery to the outside of a strip club in NYC. TMZ posted a video of Shia and some dude getting into a fight of words for whatever reason. Maybe the dude made fun of Shia’s hot signature corduroy leggings or talked shit about Eagle Eye. Whatever the case may be, Shia didn’t like it and immediately busted out some old timey cartoon boxer moves and dared the dude to punch him. Today’s definition of “sad” is brought to you by Shia LaBeouf dropping some Merry Melodies boxing moves on a stranger while wearing corduroy leggings (coggings?) in front of a strip club.
TMZ also reported that last month, Shia got banned for life from The Local Peasant restaurant in Sherman Oaks, CA after he followed up his 4 hour-long meal by going to the parking lot in the back and pissing on a wall. After the manager yelled at Shia for pulling some Justin Bieber shit (or should I say Justin Bieber piss), he spit out a weird apology and tried to order more food. The manager denied him, Shia paid his bill, quit that bitch and promised to never come back again. The manager told TMZ that the feeling is mutual, because Shia’s on their blacklist now.
Also, E! News says that Shia wasn’t on the bad shit when he got crazy at Cabaret on Thursday night. Apparently, he was boozed up, but he wasn’t on drugs.
So let’s see, Shia committed an ILLEGAL sin by disrupting Alan Cumming’s thrusting crotch in Cabaret, he tried to steal a homeless dude’s cap, he tried to get into an old timey boxing match fight in front of a strip club and he pissed on a parking lot wall when a working bathroom was available. Paging Shia’s mom! Paging Shia’s mom! Please reports to Daddy Spears’ office so he can school you on that whole “5150” thing.
This is feeling less like a Joaquin Phoenix situation and more like an Amanda Bynes situation and mostly because Shia keeps hanging out in Time Square. Nobody in their right mind would willingly hang out in Time Square that much. I mean, the M&M’s World store isn’t that great.