If Shia LaDouche is trying to give us Joaquin Phoenix: The Sequel, then he’s going hard. Before he was handcuffed for slapping asses, smoking and acting insane during the first act of Cabaret on Broadway last night, Shia tried to snatch away a homeless man’s hat in Times Square. Suddenly Shia’s entire look makes sense. Everything on his body was stolen from a hobo. This is next level “how dreadful.”
TMZ has pictures of a wild-eyed, crazed Shia terrorizing the homeless dude, and Page Six has a video of Shia chasing the guy down. Witnesses told Page Six that it looked like Shia was trying to take the dude’s McDonald’s, but TMZ says that he was trying to steal a tan hat, because he thought it belonged to him. Witnesses say that Shia was running around Times Square, dodging people and screaming at the air. That doesn’t totally mean that Shia has slid into Amanda Bynes territory, because many people scream at the sky, dodge hos and run around while in Times Square. It’s a natural reaction to being around all those slow-walking tourists and the scent of sidewalk meat. One witness said that at time it seemed like Shia and the hobo were playing a game.
“At first I thought the bum had stolen something from [LaBeouf].. But the bum was responding in almost a joking manner. It was like they were playing tag!”
As I wrote about last night, the police had to put Shia’s face in a Hannibal mask, because he kept trying to hit the police with saliva bombs and he threw around the “fag” word as an homage to Alec Baldwin. Page Six says that he also paced around his cell and made up a rap song called “I Want To Go Out.”
So, Shia’s causing scenes, going around looking like the poorest tenant on Skid Row, terrorizing innocent people AND rapping. This really feels like a cross between the second coming of Joaquin Phoenix and the second coming of Amanda Bynes, and the most beautiful woman in the world (aka LaDouche’s mom) better come get her son before he ruins another Broadway show. It’s all fun and games until Alan Cumming has to stop dry humping a Kit Kat Boy because you’re smoking and hitting people in the audience.
Here’s Shia looking haggard, busted down, worn out and sad while leaving the police station this morning after pleading not guilty. He’s got those “I just spent 8 hours under fluorescent lighting” eyes (aka your after work eyes).