Man Finds Out That His 12-Year-Old Son Is Alive And He Learns It From Basic Cable’s Greatest Monster

June 26, 2014 / Posted by:

Charles Bothuell IV’s 12-year-old son, Charles “Charlie” Bothuell, went messing on June 14th after he walked out of the family’s Detroit townhouse instead. Charlie never came back and in the days after he went missing, his family, the Detroit PD and everyone looked everywhere for him. Detective La Toya Jackson was flown in (no, she wasn’t) to get to the bottom of it and Detective Courtney Love was given Google maps of the area (no, she wasn’t) so she could use her excellent detective skills to find the kid. Charles went on Nancy Grace’s show on HLN (stands for Hysterical Lunatics Network) on Tuesday night to beg the public to help him find his son. Real quick side question: When did Nancy Grace start caring about kids that aren’t white girls? That’s the real mystery that needs to be solved.

During the interview, the asshole monster that Dr. Frankenstein created using the corpse of a rabid hyena, a helmet made of hay and 12 tubes of expired liquid eyeliner heard from one of her producers that Charlie was found in the family’s basement. The same basement that was searched by everyone including Charles, Charles’ wife and police with cadaver dogs. Nancy is about as soothing and comforting as a blow job from a crocodile with an overbite, so as soon as she tells Charles that Charlie is alive and well, she makes a face that says, “The hoax is up, bitch.” While Charles reacts to the news that his son is okay, Nancy grills him and asks, “Did you check the basement?“, “Did you check your cell phone?” and “You’re telling us you and your wife searched the basement?

Charles’ reaction is a little suspect, because if that was me and I learned that the missing 12-year-old kid I’ve been losing sleeping over magically appeared in the basement I searched a thousand times, I’d rip my mic off and say to Nancy, “Gotta go, bitch, I have some ass whoopin’ to do.” But in Charles’ defense, anybody would be stunned and bewildered if this face stared at them through a monitor:

basiccablesbiggestmonster

You’re feeling stunned and bewildered, right? See what Nancy’s face does.

Local 4 Detroit says that Charlie was found barricaded behind boxes and a five-gallon drum in the basement. They don’t think he barricaded himself. Detroit Police Chief James Craig¬†told reporters that the kid looked happy to see them and they’re not ruling out the possibility that his parents knew he was okay and hiding in the basement the whole time.

Well, my guess is that Charlie finally came out of hiding, because he found out his dad was going on Nancy Grace. Shit has gone too, too far when your daddy starts talking to that crazy bitch.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >