During the press tour for her new movie Third Person, Mila Kunis gave an interview to Stephen Whitty of the Star-Ledger, and she must have woken up on the wrong side of Ashton Kutcher’s day-old AXE fog, because she was serving up some irritated ingrown toenail realness by acting like a difficult bitch.
The interviewer began by asking how she was feeling, since it’s no longer a secret that Mila is carrying around a joey in her pouch, considering she’s talked to Marie Claire about how gross it will be when the baby turns her pussy into a pulled pork sandwich on the way out, to which Mila hissed: “I don’t talk about that for publication.” So he asked her about moving away from comedies like Ted and moving into more dramatic roles, and she didn’t much care for that either:
“I hate when people ask me this question. People have this misconception that comedy’s easy. I’m always looking for challenges and I find a lot of things to be challenging.”
He then tried to ask Mila why she got into acting (“Tell us about the day you got the life-changing call from Lisa Frank…”), but again, she wasn’t having it:
“Honestly asking a nine-year-old why, who knows? It was just a fun thing to do. There was nothing else to it. I don’t know if that’s the answer you’re fishing for.”
So she didn’t want to talk about being pregnant and she didn’t want to talk about her transition from That 70’s Show’s Jackie to being a SERIOUS ACTRESS in heavy Oscar-bait shit, so he decided to ask her about what it was like moving from the Ukraine to the US when she was a kid. That’s when Mila pulled down her pants and took a giant pregnancy dump all over the interview to signify she was OFFICIALLY over-it:
“I’ve talked about me moving to America in a hundred interviews. It’s the most mundane subject possible, it’s like everyone’s immigrant story.”
“I know what your next question is so let’s just skip it. You’re going to ask me what I think about what’s going on now in Ukraine. Just because I lived there until I was seven doesn’t mean I identify with Ukraine.”
Damn Jackie, what happened? Actually, I think I know exactly what happened. Mila has said before that the fetus growing inside of her has made her seriously crave vinegary foods like pickles and sauerkraut, and I have heard from some pregnant bitches that the fetus doesn’t fuck around and sometime it can make you turn on the foods you once craved. So maybe Mila woke up that morning expecting to dive head-first into a giant jar of Vlasics, but instead was shocked when human bottle of douche Ashton leaned in to say Good Morning and his vinegar-scented kisses gave her a case of the dry heaves and put her in a shit mood for the rest of the day.