I should punch my eyeballs until they pop, because when I saw these pictures as thumbnails on the photo agency’s website, I really thought it was Katie Price. How could I mistake this drop of dumpster syrup for the ethereal diamante rose who gave birth to the world’s most precious earth angel Harvey Price? If I ran into the ER, screamed at the doctors to please give me an eyeball transplant STAT and they asked me why, all I would have to say is, “I mistook Kim Kartrashian for Katie Price,” and they’d rush me to surgery immediately.
Today’s news (or what I consider “news“) is slower than Kourtney Kardashian, so it was either post about how I spent part of my night last night watching pimple popping videos on YouTube while eating a sandwich made of rice cakes and Fluff, or post this. I know, I should’ve went with the pimple popping videos. It would’ve been more fascinating and wouldn’t have left you with that gross feeling inside. But anyway, while the nannies took care of the precious bundle of rolled-up towels that Kim Kartrashian brought with her in a stroller to NYC, she once again got her hair bleached the color of the piss that hit her ass cheeks after Ray J drank about 3 or 4 glasses of water. The blond really brings out the plastic in Kim’s face and if she (and by “she” I mean Kanye since we all know he made this decision) is going for the “Japanese-made sex robot who was returned to the factory by its buyer for being too plastic-ey ” look, then she nailed it!
Ho is so orange that she looks like a greasy carrot covered in hay. QUICK! Somebody get Trace Cyrus out of his stable, lead him to Kim and tell him it’s lunchtime.
UPDATE: Shit is just a wig. I really should’ve listened to my inside voice and posted those pimple popping videos instead.