Kate Gosselin Says She Cries Crocodile Tears Of Sadness Behind Closed Doors

June 25, 2014 / Posted by:

Every clip that TLC has released to promote their 2-hour special on Kate Gosselin’s never-ending quest to pimp out her litter of pups has done nothing but remind everyone that Kate’s still an awful, greedy, horrible shameless fame whore who would volunteer all 8 of her children as tribute for The Hunger Games if it meant she could get her rubber face on television. Someone at TLC must have finally realized that no one is going to tune in to their 2-hour documentary on Pennsylvania’s Pimp Mama Kris when they can tune in to E! and watch the real thing, so today they released a clip to People of a humbled, struggling Kate in an attempt to make her seem more sympathetic and less evil (not possible, but good try TLC):

“I’m one of many single moms out there. It’s not ideal. On a very busy day where the logistics aren’t lining up – I have to be here to pick this kid up and I have to be there to do whatever, that happens so often now I can’t even tell you. It’s really easy to feel like just saying, ‘It’s too much.'”

“I mean, I cry behind closed doors, I struggle. But I have to remind myself, this is my one shot. You’re going to mess up. Just don’t give up.”

Bitch PLEASE! Her eyes haven’t leaked anything but salty Botox discharge since 2010. Besides, any real tears that might have pushed their way through her busted tear ducts are the ones that come from not knowing where she’ll get the money for new clip-in hair extensions AND new acrylic nails. “Don’t make me choose! I can’t choose! I need both!” she cries from behind the door of her plastic surgeon’s office as she leaves her 16th voicemail that month to TLC. “Remember, I won’t give up. I need the money…er…I mean…my kids need the money. Yeah, that works. Speaking of work, if you’re just going to call me back and tell me to get a real job, save your breath, because being a desperate fame whore IS my real job now.”

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