“The View” Probably Won’t Be Renewing Jenny McCarthy’s Contract For Next Year

After only 1 year as The View’s resident screeching blonde insanity weasel, Fox 411 says that Jenny McCarthy might not be invited back to squawk with the other hens at the cheap plexiglass table next season. A source (hey Elizabeth Hasselbeck!) claims that Jenny didn’t appeal to the daytime TV crowd because she wasn’t relatable, and now that Barbara Walters has finally retired to the lanai with a mug of Postum, they can do the same with Jenny.

Show ratings have dipped slightly since McCarthy came on-board. Figures from the last two months have not been made available, but as of April 2014, numbers on The View were down by about 5 percent compared with last season. While viewership for the long-running ABC show is still at the top, CBS’s rival program The Talk has climbed 19 percent from its past season.

The producers of The View probably thought they’d hit the CBB (crazy blonde bitch) jackpot when they hired Jenny McCarthy, but she ended up being a lukewarm piece of dry white toast. I’d say that it’s going to be tough to find a replacement for her, because they need a crazy blonde bitch that won’t try to suppress the crazy, but there’s a very simple solution to their problem: hire Courtney Stodden! Bitch is blonde (check), bitch is crazy (double check), bitch has nothing better to do (unless you count tinting her nipples and trying to fight the slut on the other side of the mirror who keeps wearing her clothes). Plus, she’ll appeal to everyone at home who misses seeing an oldie at the table, since bitch looks older than Barbara.

And even though it’s still all up in the air, Jenny should just pack up her shit and apply for a job at The Talk. If those pictures from the Daytime Emmy Awards are any indication, she should feel right at home.