Selena Gomez really wanted to get a part-time job working at the mall this summer, but despite stapling her resume to a copy of her birth certificate, driver’s license, a recent bone scan, several birthday cards, and a photograph of her holding a newspaper from 1994, nobody would believe she wasn’t a toddler and refused to hire her because they didn’t want a visit from the child labor board. So Selena was forced to take the job she had last summer: babysitting Justin Bieber.
Selena learned from last year that if she doesn’t keep Justin busy with activities, he’s bound to sneak off and do hoodrat stuff, so on Sunday Selena took Justin to the L.A. Zoo. Us Weekly says that Justin’s grandparents also went to help her keep an eye on Pattie Mallette’s future retirement fund (one day she’ll retire from being a shameless pimp) and it sounds like Justin was on his best behavior:
“In front of the piranha tank, there was a little [disabled] girl in a wheelchair. Justin walked over, put his arm around her, and asked the family to take a picture.”
He took a picture with a wheelchair girl AND was so well-behaved he didn’t need to wear a child leash?! Usually watching Justin all summer is a fucking headache because his mom lets him do whatever he wants and he’s always running away on his Big Wheels. But it sounds like he’s trying to be a good boy ever since he was grounded for saying the n-word. This summer will be a piece of cake! Selena gets a break every day when he goes down for his 3-hour post-sizzurp afternoon nap, he’s always on his best behavior when they go out in public, plus she doesn’t have to change any diapers, since he’s finally potty trained now (well, save for a few accidents here and there, but give him a break, he’s still learning).