If you’ve ever wanted to see a desperate leftover from 2013 cling by a ball hair to relevance by giving sad douchebag eyes for 3 minutes and 43 seconds, you’re in luck! AZO’s most relentless foe Robin Thicke has released the first video from his remorse-adjacent album Paula, and just like the album art and track listing, the video for “Get Her Back” is another shameless stunt queen move.
Robin Thicke is as predictable as the rash you get after riding a questionable dick, so I was anticipating to see one of the malnourished models from the “Blurred Lines” video wearing a Paula Patton mask being chased around by a crying Robin in a giant heart suit past a group of hooker-looking sluts stand in front of a sign that reads “NO MORE STRANGE, I PROMISE!”. Instead, we got a half-assed FX promo for American Horror Story: STD Factory.
“Get Her Back” is like if you took Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U” video, threw it in a busted Slap Chop with herpes, an apology card from the dollar store, a data plan with unlimited texting, the theme from Growing Pains, a can of AXE Body Spray, and a restraining order. Or maybe this is Robin trying to be ~deep~ and everything in this video is a metaphor for something else. For example, the water represents the essence of douche. The skeleton represent how his career died along with the word #YOLO. The bloody nose represents…well, that’s just from doing too much coke with the call girl he hired the morning of the shoot.
Regardless of what he was going for, one thing is for certain: now we all know what the doctor at the free clinic sees under their microscope when a girl walks in and says: “I had unprotected sex with Robin Thicke and I think I might have caught something”: