Kristen Bell Is Knocked Up With Another Tiny Tummy Sloth

June 23, 2014 / Posted by:

That damn Frozen song must now play on repeat in Kristen Bell’s brain, because it looks like she told Dax Shepard to “Let it go, let it gooooo” instead of “Pull it out, pull it ouuuuut” during fuck times a couple months ago, and now she’s pregnant. A rep for Kristen and Dax (a sloth who started typing up a press release nearly 3 weeks ago) has confirmed to Entertainment Tonight that Kristen is expecting her second child with Frito Pendejo from Idiocracy. Their first baby, Abraham Lincoln Liberty Bell, was born a little over a year ago.

Kristen and Dax have gone hard after paps who take pictures of kids, and they even managed to convince People magazine to stop publishing pictures taken by the “pedorazzi” of chirruns that fell from famous coochies, so LOOK OUT, fetusrazzi, YOU’RE NEXT. Don’t even think of taking a picture of Kristen’s baby bump, you sickos! And speaking of sick, maybe it’s because I spent 2 hours in the Cheesecake Factory yesterday (I took my sister out for a ~classy~ ladies luncheon) but is it totally gross to say that “fetusrazzi” sort of sounds like chicken tetrazzini garnished with a fajita? Is it also wrong to want to eat that delicious-sounding chicken tetrazzini fajita food pile from the Cheesecake Factory? Don’t answer that, I already know the answer.

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