Open Post: Hosted By Tim McGraw’s Hard Nipples

June 20, 2014 / Posted by:

Tim McGraw tells Men’s Health that five years ago he was filling his body with the sweet nectar and the bad shit until one day his buzz-killing wife Faith Hill told him that he was going too far and he better slow it all the way down before he ends up sharing space with a Lohan in rehab and nobody wants that to happen to themselves. So Tim McGraw immediately divorced his wife for trying to fuck with his beautiful relationship with booze. No, he divorced booze and drugs and traded in his usual bottle of Jack Daniels and his favorite coke snortin’ straw for weights. Tim worked out all the time and now he’s nothing but skin, bones and a whole lot of muscles. With that skull cap on, he looks like Jackie Warner’s ripped clit.

What I’ve learned from Tim’s Men’s Health interview is that if I want to look like a buff worm, I need to stop pouring booze into my mouth hole and start lifting those things that weigh a lot. Naw, I’ll pass and leave that shit to Tim McGraw. And yes he kind of looks like a muscular Powder covered in bronzer, but I still would.

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