Hot Slut Of The Day!

Shelby, the runaway pussy who came back home after 13 years.

All the way back in 2001, Paula Harper-Adams’ cat Shelby went missing and she figured that either the cat got hit by a car and flew off to heaven or Shelby ran away to L.A. to audition for the eventually-shelved reboot of Homeward Bound and when that didn’t pan out that pussy snuck onto a ship going to Japan and worked as a hostess at a cafe in Tokyo. Paula and her family thought that they’d never see Shelby again. Fast forward to 13 years later when a stray pussy showed up on the doorstep of Paula’s St. Albans Park house in Victoria, Australia looking a mess. She was full of fleas, raggedy as all hell and her fur was matted down. In other words, she looked like a morning after Lindsay Lohan. It wasn’t good.

You’d think that if your cat, who went missing 13 years ago, suddenly showed up on your front door, you’d lock eyes with it, scream “NEEEETTTTIEEEEEEEEEEEEE” and then you’d run towards each other and hug before slow dancing to “Reunited.” But that’s not what happened between Paula and Shelby. Paula didn’t know the busted down, homeless cat in front of her house was Shelby at first even though Shelby probably threw the same “Bitch, YOU KNOW ME” side-eye that your ex-hook-ups throw at you when you spot them on the subway and quickly move to the next car. Paula tells the Geelong Advertiser that she took Shelby to the vet to see if they could fix her up. Paula thought Shelby was a much younger cat, but the vet told her that Shelby was a lot older. That’s when something in Paula’s brain clicked and she wondered if that stray cat could be Shelby. Paula went home, found an old picture of Shelby and the faces matched. Paula had her Shelby back and she could once again say to Shelby during dinnertime, “Drink yer milk, Shelby!” Paula put it like this:

“I was convinced I was crazy, but I took a photo of the cat’s face, in case anyone ­responded to my Facebook post (for a missing animal), and left. I half joked that if I could find a photo of Shelby, I’d be back (to compare). Well, I went home and, like a woman possessed, searched through box after box until I found the photo I was looking for, Shelby. I took the photo back to the vet and the girls had a good look over her and the photo before coming back and ­announcing to me in the waiting room: ‘She is your cat.’ ’’

REJOICE! Shelby and Paula are back together again……unless that isn’t Shelby at all. Are we sure those white markings on Shelby’s face weren’t painted on with Wite-Out? Are we sure that cat didn’t befriend Shelby out in the wild, learn her story and then pretend to be her? This could be a Sommersby situation. I hope they turn this into a reality show, because I really want to see the scene where Paula realizes Shelby’s an impurrstor and screams, “YOU ARE NOT MY PUSSY!”

Here’s Shelby’s story and I’m sure there’s an evil Pixar executive who is thinking to himself that he has found his next billion dollar money maker: a 3D computer-animated remake of 12 Years A Slave starring cats!