Selena Gomez And Justin Bieber Are Back Together: Take 4,669,904

June 17, 2014 / Posted by:

The other day, Justin Bieber Instagrammed (and later deleted) this picture of him looking like he’s getting burped by Selena Gomez and those of you who cared, guessed they were back together again, because she missed all the attention she gets when she’s with his ass and he missed her giving him a raspberry after changing his diaper.

I guess those junior high school messes are really back together again, because TMZ posted a riveting, 20-second-long video of Selena and Justin partying together at Bootsy Bellows on Monday night after spending the day in Malibu together. Selena apparently never left his side.

This Kids Inc. version of RiRi and Chris Brown…..

If this was an episode of Kids Inc., Martika would take Selena out to the basketball court set, sit her down on a bench and say to her, “Selena, I know you think you’re madly in love. You probably don’t care that he’s a jerk and is out there doing bad things, because you don’t think you can do any better. But you’re young and I need to tell you that once you start passing your pussy to other dudes, you’ll realize that the dick you thought was good, the dick you were dickmatized over, was actually shit and there’s better dick out there. These are the best years of your pussy’s life and don’t waste it on some chewed-off scab.” Then Fergie and that one whose name I always forget will come out and they’ll all sing a mash-up of He’s A Rebel/Not Tonight.

What I’m saying is that Selena really need a Martika in her life.

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