I don’t know what shocks me more: that someone could have a heart black enough to talk shit about National Treasure Tara Reid, or that in 2014 we’re still talking about the stale crust from American Pie.
4th place runner-up in an Adam Sandler pageant Jason Biggs was interviewed by Joan Rivers for her web series In Bed With Joan, and during a segment called “Live Or Die”, Joan gave Piper’s annoying husband from OITNB the choice between saving either his former American Pie co-star and current springtime dew drop Tara Reid or human dirty needle Lindsay Lohan. Obviously, anyone with a set of eyes knows you’d save effervescent earth angel Tara Reid over the Apricot Ashtray, but for some reason Jason Biggs has beef with Tara, so he chose Lindsay.
“She’s got nice boobs. She really does. Lindsay’s got nice boobs. Tara’s body, I don’t know what’s going on with it. I don’t think she ever knows what’s going on with it. Lindsay doesn’t know what’s going on with Tara’s body either. No one knows what’s going on with Tara’s body.”
Excuse you, you rude-ass pie fucker, but that’s Tara Reid’s exquisite Renaissance sculpture of a body you’re hissing mouth lies about! Clearly Jason needs his eyes checked, because it’s pretty obvious what’s going on with Tara’s body: it looks like a beautiful sun-bleached terracotta column crowned with a decorative bundle of freshly-harvested hay.
Sadly, this isn’t the first time he’s taken a swipe at Tara Reid. A year ago, Jason was on Watch What Happens Live and he joked that Tara Reid’s prison nickname would be “Hot Mess”. When Tara finally woke up from the bus stop bench in West Hollywood where she’d passed out the night before, she Tweeted at Jason that he’d hurt her feelings. I can’t imagine how hurt her feelings will be when she discovers that she lost to Lindsay Lohan in a “Which Tired Skank Would You Rather” contest. Thankfully, we have at least 3 days before she sobers up and remembers which pile of cigarette butts her laptop is buried under before she finds out.
And in case you need a reminder of her timeless glamour, here’s Tara Reid star floating gracefully like a feather caught in the summer breeze in Beverly Hills on Thursday night: