Cover the seat of your chair with Bounty and lay down the tarp, because it’s going to get messy. On The Tonight Show last night, Jimmy Fallon followed up his “Evolution of Mom Dancing” with Michelle Obama by bringing out the pride of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie to give his titty meat dumplings whiplash and hit the faces of the angels with his bouncing FUPA while doing the “Evolution of Dad Dancing” for Father’s Day.
The Tonight Show brought out Chris Christie, because they obviously have deals with mop companies and knew the sight of the Great Pumpkin of the Garden State thrusting his body like the Kool-Aid Man in Magic Mike while his pants were pulled up to his nipples would bring forth a tsunami of panty pudding. Chris Christie did it, because he figured that his hot, sweet, juicy moves would temporarily distract people from all of his scandals. I mean, it’s hard for people to judge Chris Christie while they’re setting their eyeballs on fire.
And I guess Rob Ford is still in rehab or hiding out in the basement of a crack house or something, because this should’ve been him. That floor would’ve been moist and I mean that literally because the crack sweat would’ve spewed out of his pores as he thrusted his crotch.