This Is The Gigolo That Lea Michele’s Doing

June 11, 2014 / Posted by:

TMZ says that nearly a year after Cory Monteith died of a heroin overdose, Lea Michele has thrown her cooch back into the game and is supposedly humping on life coach/massage therapist Matthew Paetz who apparently used to sell his ass and dick under the name “Christian” for the escort agency Cowboys4Angels. (His profile was taken down today.) Some of the hos from Cowboys4Angels starred in Showtime’s greatest achievement “Gigolos” but Matthew Paetz wasn’t one of those hos. The writers of Glee must be declaring themselves the Miss Cleos of this generation, because last season Lea’s just as annoying character dated a ho. This makes sense, because most tricks would need a stack of hundreds to deal with Lea yodeling out a Barbra Streisand song when she orgasms.

According to TMZ, Matthew whipped his leased peen out for $350 an hour (or $6,000 a weekend or $17,500 a week) as recently as April, but that might’ve been the last time he turned tricks. Matthew stopped hooking when he started dating Lea. UsWeekly says that they met a few months ago when he was in her video for “On My Way.

I’m sure Lea will say that she’s only dating Matthew Paetz as research for when she eventually plays the Barbra Streisand role in a remake of Nuts (because in Lea’s delusional mind, she’ll eventually play all the Barbra Streisand roles in all the remakes of Barbra Streisand’s movies).

You know, I’m all for getting dick anyway you can get it, but bitch must be on a serious budget. Because if money was no object and she truly wanted the hottest piece that money can buy, she’d sell her house, sell her cars and empty out her savings accounts to the buy the Statue of David of Cowboys4Angels. She’d treat herself to some BRACE THE FACE!

bracethefacehotness

There’s a reason why the deep fried, chewed-up, dragged-through-the-mud Ken Doll is always making a “You can’t afford this ass” face, because most hos (see: Lea Michele) can’t afford that ass.

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