Panty Creamer Of The Day: Ryan Phillippe Takes His Nipples For A Walk In Miami

June 10, 2014 / Posted by:

 

Here’s the former Mr. Laura Jeanne “AMERICAN CITIZEN” Poon struttin’ his ass and nipples on the beach in Miami where he’s on vacation with his 23-year-old fiancé Paulina Slagter (with a last name like SLAGter, she must’ve had it good in junior high) who looks like she used to be a sperm fish about 5 seconds ago. But luckily for her ass, Ryan Phillippe likes them looking like a fetus and now she gets to get on the former twink who almost every gay fapped to in that messy Studio 54 movie.

Ryan Phillippe reminds me of those pretty-faced white twinks who wanted to shed their pretty-faced white twink image so they got a bunch of muscles and tattoos to butch up their look. We had one of those in my neighborhood growing up and his ass would even draw a teardrop tattoo on his cheek with a Sharpie, because he once went directly to jail during a game of Monopoly and that totally counts. He also made everyone call him Jax, because you know Jax is a totally butch name.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that Ryan is 39 and even though his head looks like it’s eating his eyes, he’s still got that panty pudding-inducing touch.

Pics: Splash

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