To play Blackbeard in the Peter Pan movie that nobody, I mean nobody, asked for, Hugh JackeMeOff took a machete, a Flowbee, an Epilady and a BIC shaver to all the hair on his head. Now Hugh’s just a giant bald head with a big, bushy beard. If you threw some tiny, dried up chunks of Velveeta at his beard and covered him with the gallons of sweat in a fireman’s boot, he’d look and smell exactly like Adrian Grenier’s dick. He looks like Ming the Merciless if Ming the Merciless gave up the whole “being a grade A evil space cunt” thing, grew his brows out and followed his true calling of being a bouncer at a gay leather club. And yes, I still would.