And Now, For Kate Hudson’s Thoughts On Plastic Surgery, Bloggers, And Lance Armstrong

June 10, 2014 / Posted by:

Not content to let Gwyneth Paltrow be the only bottle of Nepotism Springs bland blonde water to gurgle out their thoughts on bloggers, the incense-burning fringed leather Goop Kate Hudson has added her name to the list of famous rich white ladies who get bummed out every time they read something not-nice about themselves online. In an interview with InStyle, Kate pushed out a single fauxhemian tear over those judgy assholes of the internet, but not before she could get in some judgemental shade at the expense of two of her old fuck pieces:

On acting like she never helped administer the daily juice-injections into the ass cheeks of her two roided-up exes, Lance Armstrong and Alex Rodriguez:
“I was as shocked as anyone. But I personally think that you make the choices you make and you should reap the consequences. People have a right to [feel betrayed]. Lance and Alex are phenomenal athletes who have made some bad choices and let a lot of people down. It’s a decision they made for themselves and they’ve got to loathe it.”

On turning into Mr. Tyzik from The Kids in the Hall every time she sees the paparazzi:
“I mentally cut their heads off.”

On how bloggers should LEAVE KIM KARDASHIAN-TYPES ALOOOOONE (but also tricks who are starting to look like if Goldie Hawn fucked a decorative ceramic panther):
“The negativity is just so vast. Will everybody stop being so damned judgmental? If someone wants to go get butt implants, then sure, go get butt implants. The real question is, How do they treat the person next to them? Are they assholes or are they awesome?”

I know Kate Hudson wants me to stop being so damned judgemental, but I’m putting on my detachable lace collar and judging the fuck out of the near-sighted intern responsible for Photoshopping Kate Hudson to hell and back until she ended up resembling a boho Flat Stanley in a bikini. Dear InStyle: I’ve had paper dolls with more lifelike-looking legs than hers.

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