Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 8, 2014 / Posted by:

Marjorie McCool, the 91-year-old great grandmother and grand dame of the cougars who is getting herself some 31-year-old dick!

When Marjorie McCool takes her daily dose of Celebrex, Boniva and Centrum Silver, she takes it the way all of us should take our meds, she crushes it over the peen of her 31-year-old boy toy and licks it right off. Marjorie is spending the “needs the help of a safety support bar to get off the toilet” phase of her life breaking her hip while riding her 31-year-old boyfriend Kyle Jones of Pittsburgh. Kyle Jones is a self-proclaimed Cougar Champion who is single-handedly helping to keep KY in business since he only bones hot ladies old enough to be his memaw. Kyle tells Barcroft (via The Daily Mail) that when he was just a youngin, he knew he didn’t want to be with girls his own age. Some dudes get the tingles in their peen tips from looking at blondes, Kyle gets the tingle in his peen tip from watching the Golden Girls.

Kyle and Great Granny McCool started dating after they met in 2009 at her job and he asked for her number. (Side note: Working in her 90s and getting that 30-something dick? Great Granny McCool is about that “age ain’t nothing but a number” life.) After Kyle figured out how to dial Hazelwood 615 on a modern phone, the two got together and she’s been rubbing her seasoned golden prune poon on him ever since. Great Granny McCool was single for 37 years until Kyle awakened her dusty, dormant flower and now she can’t get enough. Caution: Prepare to cringe like you’ve never cringed before:

“Sometimes I feel like he’s another son, until we hop in bed and I feel different. The physical side of our relationship is wonderful. I amaze myself, he amazes me. There’s nothing better. I wear sexy outfits to bed. I try to keep my bra on though because I don’t have much left.”

Kyle isn’t a one-granny fucker kind of cougar cub. Kyle is also dating 68-year-old great grandma Anna Roland after meeting on a dating site (GGILF-Date.com, anyone?). Anna says that she was suspicious of Kyle’s motives at first since she’s more than twice his age, but after meeting him (and his peen) she realized that he’s genuine (aka granny got dickmatized). Kyle says that he’s not a gold digging life insurance chaser and he doesn’t date grannies to get a piece of their social security check. He just loves grannies, because they’re more mature (that’s the understatement of the century) than girls his age.

Kyle’s mom Cecelia, who wasn’t even born when Great Granny McCool started having kids, thought that her son’s love of granny cooch was just a phase, but after time she realized it isn’t and is now fully supportive. Here’s Kyle’s story and is it just me or does he talk like Thurston Howell III after jaw surgery?

Kyle also got with Great Granny McCool, because she can teach him a thing or two. Great Granny McCool probably took Methuselah’s v-card and she got her first case of Carboniferous Imocaris (that’s what they called crabs back then) from Adam.

If you’re a sucio fuck who’s thinking to yourself, “I can’t wait for Great Granny McCool and Kyle’s sex tape,” your sick wish has been granted. A commenter at Buzzfeed posted a link to (NSFL) Kyle in action with Great Granny McCool and other elderly sex goddesses, because that Buzzfeed commenter doesn’t want any of our meals to digest today. Who knew that 30-something cougar cub jizz was heaven’s version of anti-aging Oil of Olay night cream? Kyle is also the star of the site (NSFL: The Sequel) Cougar Champion. Kyle has been in more grannies than Activia yogurt.

And somewhere, Madge is on her knees, because Great Granny McCool IS her idol.

(For Amanda, Ben H and Kenneth)

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >