Jonah Hill has already apologized once for that TMZ video of him barking “suck my dick, you faggot” at a photographer on Howard Stern’s radio show, but I guess his “I can’t be a homophobe, I have a gay best friend!” angle wasn’t winning anyone over, because he tried his hand at a second, more sincere “I’m sowwy” with Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show last night.
The producers of 22 Jump Street must have really scared the fear into Jonah Dirtpile, because his apology is nearly three minutes long and he doesn’t mention his gay best friend once. Instead, he says what we were all kind of hoping he’d admit the first time around: that an asshole pap was pissing him off and he retaliated by calling him a shitty slur and he fucked up. He also says he didn’t mean to use “faggot” in a homophobic way, but that it doesn’t matter which way he meant it, because the word he chose was “grotesque”. Jonah even got a little choked up. Then again, that could just have been him realizing that if he doesn’t make this shit look convincing, his ass might get replaced in 23 Jump Street by a cardboard cut-out of Seth Rogen.
The cynical asshole in me wants to believe this second apology is merely the work of TWO-TIME ACADEMY AWARD-NOMINATED ACTOR JONAH HILL!!!, but I think he’s sincerely sorry for using the other f-word. I’m sure if he could go back, he’d freeze time like Evie from Out of This World, cram the words “Suck my dick, you faggot” back in his mouth and search in his mental Rolodex of Insults for something else. Like “Eat my turds, you rotten leaky dick cyst” or something. Next time, Jonah, next time.
Here’s Jonah Hill at GMA this morning: