Even way back in 2004, that tattoo of Skeleton Abraham Lincoln is like “Four score and WTF is going on here?”
When it was first announced that pussy power motivational speaker and carefree slut Cameron Diaz had started rubbing her parts against Hot Topic troll Benji Madden, pretty much everyone gave Cameron a Michael Bluth-style “Him?”. Really, Benji Madden? The human Hot Topic vinyl toy? The back-up Madden brother? Male Avril Lavigne?
But that was two weeks ago, and if holding hands and getting coffee is any indication of the status of a relationship, then it looks like Cameron and Benji are still bumping woo-woos. Which means Camji (I hate myself for writing that) is technically more than a questionable random one-night-hump thing. And according to People, it may have the potential to go on ANOTHER two weeks!
“The relationship sort of hit Cameron out of nowhere,” a source close to Diaz tells PEOPLE. “She’s always been open-minded when it comes to men. She just wants to have something in common with them and find a personality that loves life and loves as hard as she does.”
“She’s at a point in her life where she would love to settle down, but for now with Benji it’s about being happy and taking things as they come,” the pal says. “She’s happy … really happy.”
That’s an awful lot of words for “It’s good dick.” Because why else would you date a dude who falls somewhere on the Kinsey Scale of Douchery between AXE Body Spray and John Mayer? Whatever, it’s Cameron’s pussy, and if watering her precious flower with vinegar brings a smile to her face, then who am I to judge?
And I feel like any time Cameron Diaz stays with someone long than 14 days, her pussy should present them with a little rolled-up certificate and a small trophy to congratulate them on delivering the kind of dick that is able to temporarily tame Cammy’s hungry hungry hoo-hoo.