Whoever came up with the phrase, “THIS is why we can’t have nice things,” was obviously a time traveler from the future who was a guest at the elegant Tennessee wedding of Shona Carter-Brooks and Jonathan Brooks. Because Shona’s newborn daughter strapped to her Vera Wang for David Bridal’s gown is the reason why we can’t and don’t deserve nice things. That man on the right, his “Jesus, take the wheel of that dress and drive that poor baby far away from this foolery,” says everything you need to know about this mess of a story.
Over the weekend, Facebook, Twitter and everywhere else lit all the way up over a picture of Shona Carter-Brooks walking down the aisle of her wedding while her one month old baby Aubrey was attached to the train of her dress. And the choir sang, “Here comes the bride, all dressed in wh-at the hell is she doing?” I mean, it could’ve been worse. They could’ve gotten confused and tied empty tin cans to her dress and tied poor Aubrey to the back of their marital chariot.
After many people on Facebook, said that a CPS officer should’ve jumped through the doors when the pastor asked, “Who objects to this fuckery?”, Shona Carter-Brooks answered them all on her Facebook (via Buzzfeed) and said that Jesus was on their side (Cut to Jesus throwing a side-eye at Shona while sitting on our side of the church) and that strapping her baby to the train of her dress was so EPIC and EXCLUSIVE that it made them social media stars for the weekend.
People questioning what we do, commenting all negative, and just doing the most. We good though we covered by the Blood which never loose its power. So to the media, radio, news, and whomever else wanting to talk about what WE do here you go: Media Media I see how it works regardless the situation or purpose people gone have something negative to say! The answer is we do what we want when we want long as Jesus on our side everything worked out fine and gone continue to be fine. Our 1 month old was awake and well secured on my train. Most important while yall got ya feelings in us we had our hearts in Christ which covers all!! So keep ya mouths running for it was just that Exclusive and Epic enough we made top blog way from small town Ripley, TN and the social media doing what they do, TALK!!!!
“People are just doing the most,” says the woman who did the ALL-CAPS BOLDED MOST by using her baby as a damn train weight.
Of course, Jesus told Shana and Jonathan to do this. But Shana needs to candle her ears and clean them out, because she heard wrong. Jesus didn’t say, “Put your baby on your train, my child.” Jesus said, “Put your baby on A train headed for anywhere and spare her from this WRECK, my child.”
But after that mess of a STUNT QUEEN stunt, baby Aubrey was okay. Sure she was a little barfy, but you would be suffering from motion sickness too if your mom dragged you down the aisle.