In “The Opposite Of Shocking” News, Justin Bieber Caught Mouth Farting Out A Racist Joke When He Was 15
Last night, The Sun posted of video for their paying customers of the corroded dingle clinging to Canada’s longest ass hair spewing out a dumb racist joke in front of a camera. This morning, TMZ also threw up the video and bragged that they’ve been sitting on it for 4 years, but since they’re the sheer definition of restraint, they didn’t post it, because that popped asshole wart was only 15 at the time and apparently told his friends he regretted telling that stupid ass joke. But thanks to The Sun, we can now watch the dried vomit nugget with a guinea pig combover dribble out a racial slur.
TMZ says that the clip below was shot when the Biebs was 15 during filming for his biopic documentary thing called Never Say Never (alternate title: So THIS Is What Happened To Rosemary’s Baby). Before the clip starts, the Biebs asks, “What’s the most confusing day for black people?” When the clips starts up, he says, “Father’s Day.” The Biebs mistakes the sound of crickets for the sound of non-stop laughter, so he decides to keep the laughs coming and tells another joke while a girl sitting next to him texts the words, “PLEASE KILL ME NOW,‘ to anybody who will listen. The Biebs asks, “Why are black people afraid of chainsaws?” and even though somebody in the room says, “Don’t say it,” he says, “Run-nigger-nigger-run...” A lady, who some say is his mom, pipes in after the punchline with, “You can say ‘motorcycle’ too.” So I guess Jesus hates abortions, but loves those racist jokes.
The Biebs hasn’t said shit about this yet, but it’s Sunday, so I’m sure he’s still sleeping off his sizzurp hangover while sucking on a pacifier in his crib. But Justin Bieber’s ex-bodyguard Kenny Hamilton, who’s black, said on Twitter that he is not a racist. The Beibs’ PR team shouldn’t even bother with a statement, because we all know it’s going to look something like this:
“I apologize to anyone who was offended by the video of me telling a distasteful joke when I was 15 years old. I was younger then, didn’t know any better and didn’t have a PR team to tell me not to say any racist jokes in front of a camera that’s recording. It was not my intention to hurt anyone. Some of my best friends are black. I am grown now and know not to say that word in front of a camera that’s recording. Besides, if I did say that word now, it’s okay, because I’ve been given a pass by the black community.”
And then that grown adult, will guzzle down the rest of the purple drank in his sippy cup, pull down his sagging leather culottes, take a dump in a barback’s bin, pull up his sagging leather culottes and jump on his Big Wheels to find a wall to graffiti on.