That high-pitched dog whistle sound you just heard was Ariana Grande Latte gleefully squealing “karma’s a biiiiiiitch” at her highest register as she watched the video of country singer Luke Bryan falling off the stage during a concert in Charlotte, NC on Thursday night.
Luke Bryan was in the middle of singing Macklemore’s “Can’t Hold Us” (why? + wut? = I have no fucking idea) when he stepped a little too close to the edge of the stage and bailed. Luckily he was alright (TMZ says he had to get a couple stitches but he’s fine). He climbed back up and joked to the crowd that the last time he was in North Carolina he busted his ass on stage as well. There must be something in the North Carolina water to make him so tipsy; is NC getting moonshine run-off from Virginia?
I decided to re-watch it a couple of times as a reminder to always watch where I’m going when I walk down the stairs so that I don’t pull a Luke Bryan and end up in the ER with a doctor giving me ‘Uh huh, sure you broke you ass falling down the stairs’ attitude. But I discovered why Luke fell. It was too damn dark! Dear Luke: to prevent another slip and fall accident in the future, place your glowing sunset-colored wife Caroline front row center to act as a human night-light and illuminate the lip of the stage.