Woe Is George Michael: Part 5,89,897.
Just in the past three years, George Michael has fallen out of a moving Range Rover and has been laid up in the hospital for months with pneumonia (or PAMONAS as my cousin still calls it). Bitch has been through IT and he went through it again last Thursday when two ambulances were called to his house in North London and spent a total of 4 hours treating him. Well, they probably spent an hour treating him and another three hours staring at his glorious hair yarmulke. After they treated him, they put him in an ambulance and shuffled him off to the hospital. The Daily Mail says that George fell in his house and a friend called for an ambulance. George’s spokeswhore wouldn’t say exactly what down, but said that he’s out of the hospital:
“In response to newspaper reports today, we can confirm George was admitted to hospital on May 22. He was discharged last weekend and is well and resting. He is very much looking forward to the release of his new single in July. Given the personal nature of this matter there will be no further comment.”
George Michael once said that he used to suck down 25 blunts a day, so of course some whores are saying he overdosed on marijuana. Overdosed on marijuana. Bitch, please. The closest I’ve ever gotten to “overdosing” on marijuana is the time I smoked so much that it messed with my senses and by that I mean I laughed while watching Jack and Jill on Starz.
George Michael gets into a car and he falls out of it. George Michael walks in his house and he falls down. Something’s going on and I’m not going to speculate (HAHAHA!), but I am going to say that he should always wear a suit made of bubble wrap and his assistants should follow him around while carrying mattresses just in case he falls. Because bitch is delicate.
Or maybe it’s really nothing and George Michael just prolapsed while hooking up with a Scruff trick. It happens to the best of us.