Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 28, 2014 / Posted by:

Maggie, the gorgeous drunk orange blossom from the latest shit dingle to fall out of Ryan Seacrest’s gaping troll asshole I Wanna Marry Harry!

Before I started watching Fox’s latest pile of trash I Wanna Marry Harry, I figured all of the girls would be functionally brain dead, because who is dumb enough to think that the royal family would let Prince Hot Ginge find the next British princess on a reality shit show on Fox. FOX! CBS maybe, but FOX? But after watching the second episode, which aired last night, I’ve come to the conclusion that most of those skanks know that’s not PHG, but they’re just going with it, because they really want to be on TV. I mean, they’ve seen the fake PHG, who looks like a Woll version of Prince William with a bad dye job, in the daylight and they’re still saying shit like, “Well, I THINK he could be Prince Harry.” Bitch, you would know! You’re howling pussy would let you know if you were sitting in front of the real PHG.

Half of the messes on that show are just there for the cameras and weekly stipend and if Rock of Love was still on, they would’ve auditioned for that instead. My favorite mess of the messes is the stunningly exquisite Maggie, a 24-year-old (in Lohan years) account executive from Whoville. Maggie is such a wreck. She looks like she got a discount, sloppy spray tan in 2009 and still hasn’t washed it off. She’s like Tan Mom: The Prequel. And Maggie is always wasted out of her weave. She was plastered in the first episode and she got messy drunk on last night’s episode too. Bitch gets it. If you’re going to be on a reality shit show, you should get as drunk as possible so you remember nothing.

Last night, Maggie guzzled down the wine at dinner and got so drunk that she wasn’t making any sense. When a few, jealous hating whores told Maggie that she’s a drunk and needs to watch her booze, she cried out a shallow stream of red wine tears. Those drunk-hating bitches are just jealous that they’re not as fresh and beautiful as Maggie. When Maggie cries she looks like a Who suffering from a severe case of diarrhea.

drunkmessharrymeganhsotd2

Trust this, Maggie is going to make it to the final 2. During each episode, Maggie is going to get so fucked up on the sweet nectar that she’s going to pass out behind a potted plant and the fake PHG is going to forget she’s there so he’ll never eliminate her. Besides, if the real PHG had to choose one of those messes to be his princess bride, he’d choose Maggie. She’s like Chelsy Davy if Chelsy Davy’s biological mom was Vicki from The Real Housewives of Orange County.

Pics: Daily MailĀ 

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