It would not be a national holiday if the paps didn’t get pictures of forever international supermodel and the reigning queen of the ho stroll Phoebe Price working extremely hard by walking and wearing a bikini. True story: The paps had a chance to pap Justin Bieber in a hotel room getting pegged by a Cuban model wearing a rubber Usher mask, but they skipped out on that shit when they heard that Chicken Cutlets was walking along the beach with her freckled poultry titties looking like two shaved guinea pigs snuggling together to keep warm. The paps know their priorities and know that nothing is more important or newsworthier than pictures of PP walking. (Slight correction: The only thing more important, interesting and newsworthier than a picture of PP walking is a picture of her dog Henry pissing on a pile of seaweed.)
And am I just stoned or does PP’s left knee look like Newt Gingrich wearing an eye patch?