Kanye West’s Wedding Speech Was About As Kanye-y As You’d Expect

May 25, 2014 / Posted by:

This is probably the same face Kanye West makes when he comes downstairs in the morning for breakfast and finds Pimp Mama Kris and Satan finishing the last of the coffee at the kitchen table. It’s sort of reminiscent of Gob Bluth’s “I’ve made a huge mistake” face. But according to Us Weekly, Kanye Kardashian managed to stuff his regret deep into the pit of his stomach long enough to rant out an insane delusion-soaked wedding speech at Saturday night’s Tacky Assholes Convention:

“They feel like it’s okay to put you on the tabloid covers to sell your image, to use you in an SNL spoof,” he said, per the observer. “We don’t negotiate. We’re not like that. We’re not stupid.” A little while later, he added, “The Kardashians are an industry!”

He also spoke about his and Kim’s inner circle, saying, “We are warriors! There is not one person at this table that has not had to defend us at some point or another.” Then, referring to a specific group of guests at the wedding, he added, “At this table…the combination of powers…can make the world a better place.” He called them “the most remarkable people of our time.”

I’m sorry, you’ll have to be more specific: who exactly from guest list of Z-list has-beens and never-wases is he referring to? But I will say that he’s right about one thing: the Kardashians can make the world a better place…by volunteering for Mars One. Ooh, maybe that’s what he meant? “Don’t worry guys, Ricardo and I will watch your stuff while you’re gone!”

And it looks like North West (or as her mother calls her: ‘Sorry, have we met before?’) wasn’t lucky enough to hitch a ride back to LA with The Sock One, because here she is with Grandma Goblin on their way to the airport. I bet every time North throws that “Who the fuck are you???” face, Kris Jenner texts a picture of Prince George snuggling Duchess Kate to Satan with the message: “Hey, can you find out how to train a baby do this?”

Pics: Splash

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