IMPORTANT NEWS FROM 1996! We Now Know What Tupac’s Last Words Were

May 23, 2014 / Posted by:

That pit bull puppy’s face says it all: “I don’t wanna know, I just wanna cuddle and search for Poetic Justice gifs and listen to Keep Ya Head Up on repeat.” That puppy is me. That puppy is you. That puppy is all of us. But for those of you thinking “fuck that puppy, just tell me what his last words were”, well here you go.

The Daily Mail (via Vegas Seven) says that a Las Vegas bike cop from the night rapper Tupac Shakur was shot has come forward nearly 20 years later (pardon me, it appears I need to pour some Ensure into my Baileys, because I AM OLD) to talk about being the last person Tupac spoke to before he flew up to Thugz Mansion. Chris Carroll claims that on the night of September 7th, 1996, he pulled Tupac from the passenger seat of the car he was shot in and repeatedly asked him who shot him. Carroll says Tupac didn’t answer because he was yelling at Suge Knight. Finally, Carroll asked one more time, Tupac took a deep breath, and uttered his last words:

“Fuck you.”

He then closed his eyes and rode up to heaven on the back of a sleepy blonde pit bull puppy. Damn, I love the word fuck, but even I don’t think I want “fuck you” to be my deathbed words. Although, I’d probably cough out the same thing if I had some stranger in a bike helmet all up in my personal space, asking the same damn question over and over again. Unless that bike cop looked like Officer Jenko from 21 Jump Street, my response would probably be “fuck you” (coincidentally, my answer to Jenko would be the same, but would begin with the words “I’d like to”).

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