File Under “I Give This 10 Months”: Jay-Z Opened A Club In The Atlanta Airport

May 23, 2014 / Posted by:

And Jay-Z should file this under “Reasons Beyoncé Shouldn’t Let Me Make Decisions”, because this is literally the worst idea Jay-Z has had since he decided to share an elevator with Solange. According to The Grio (which sounds like a nickname for the bloat you get after too much pinot greege) Jay-Z has opened the latest 40/40 Club in the Atlanta airport. Yes I said club and yes I said Atlanta airport. No disrespect to the Atlanta airport, but it’s still an airport (aka Hell’s Little Barf-bag).

The 40/40 Club is open only to ticketed passengers pulling their rolling suitcases through the Atlanta International Airport, and spokesperson for the club claims “We want to have the same type of feel as the regular 40/40 Club. It’s the airport version of the 40/40 Club.” So basically, take a 40/40 Club (you know, one of the ones that’s still open) add the smell of stale nachos wafting down the hall from the Chili’s Too, a middle-aged woman in an EPCOT sweatshirt screaming at Brayden or Jayden that he’ll get his goddamn iPod back when she feels good and ready to give it back, and $13.99/minute wireless access.

Currently, just the sports bar and lounge are open, but the concessions director for the airport says a VIP lounge area will open later in the fall. The might as well just rename the whole club A$$HOLES, because you’d truly have to Kanye Kardashian-levels of delusional to pay for bottle service in the VIP section of a club located 10 feet away from a kiosk that sells those cashew-shaped neck pillows. Aaaaaand I just realized exactly who would go to this 40/40 Club. Dear TSA of the Atlanta airport: be prepared, this will be an afternoon in your future.

Pic: Splash

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