Most of today’s “news” is about those two whores covering the walls of Versailles (or as Nomi Malone would pronounce it, “Ver-Say-Lez“) with steaming hot bullshit by saying their useless vows in it, so I thought I’d give your eyeballs a break from seeing picture after picture of a dildo in a Balmain sausage casing and show you (in case you haven’t already seen it) this video from a security camera of a dude catching a falling baby in the small Chinese town of Xiaolan in. Dear Michelle Duggar, THIS is the true definition of “catching a baby.”
The Guardian says that when a really tall 1-year-old baby crawled onto a second story ledge to look for his mom, the people below freaked out and prepared to catch him. They tried to find shit that would break the baby’s fall like cardboard and an ottoman that kind of looks like luggage. A street vendor who the Chinese media identified as “Mr. Li” got right under the baby, assumed the catching position and right when the baby teeters off the edge, a shirtless dude cuts in (attention whore!) to help catch the kid. Mr. Li perfectly caught the kid and everyone cheered! Mr. Li got a 10! The kid’s mom got her kid back! And the kid got an offer to join the 2016 Chinese Olympic gymnastics team (he’ll totally be 16 by then)! The day was saved!
Mr. Li said afterward that he acted on instinct:
“I didn’t think too much at the time. I was just afraid of failing to catch him. Some people put down cardboard to avoid serious injuries to the baby if I fail to catch him. It was nothing but human instinct to do so.”
I did laugh at them throwing the cardboard down, but my ass would probably do the same thing. Shit, I’d throw down cardboard, trash, my jacket, those umbrellas and I’d even grab that screaming lady in the blue poncho and throw her down too.