Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 22, 2014 / Posted by:

Princess Paw Paw from the 80s cartoon the Paw Paws!

The Paw Paws was only with us from 1985 to 1986, because the 80s could handle only so many acid-induced cartoon fever dreams at one time. The Paw Paws were basically a copy + paste rip-off of The Smurfs, but of instead of being blue butt dingles who lived in a forest, the Paw Paw Bears (which may or may not be the nicknames of Honey Boo Boo’s grandparents) were these hipster forest bears who always looked like they were ready to do molly and dance under the sun at Coachella.

The Paw Paw Bears (which may or may not be the name of John Travolta’s Scientology bath house crew) were a tribe of little bears who loved pastels and were always defending their precious 3 wooden totems from the evil whores of the forest like Dark Paw. When shit got really serious, the Mystic Moonstone necklace around Princess Paw Paw’s neck was able to bring to life the 3 wooden totems. Any director who is forced to work with Blake NotSoLively should get a hold of Princess Paw Paw’s necklace and use it to bring her wooden ass alive for the cameras.

Speaking of Princess Paw Paw (which may or may not be what John Travolta’s Scientology bath house crew calls him), here’s Wikipedia’s description of her:

She is Wise Paw’s daughter. She is beautiful and cares for everyone and the village. She carries around the Mystic Moonstone which has the power to bring Totem Bear, Tortoise and Eagle to life. When she blows on her whistle, she can summon her flying horse, Flying Cloud.

How much acid and peyote were all of us on in the 80s?!

Besides Princess Paw Paw being able to summon a horse by blowing on a whistle (“Eh, that’s how I get Trace to come to dinner” – Tish Cyrus) and having the ability to bring wooden shit to life, she was also hot because her gorgeous hair covered most of her body and she wore an outfit that Vanessa Hudgens has been searching for her entire life.

And the Paw Paws intro answers the question I just asked a few seconds ago. The answer is: A LOT.

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