Rob Kartrashian Knows That He’s Fat, Thankyouverymuch
Seen above in happier days when he was the king of his now failed sock empire and posing next to an autographed picture of his wet, naked whore sister (or maybe that’s an alien who can morph into the image of Eva Longoria?), Pimp Mama Kris’ lowest-earning ho Rob Kardashian got mad on Twitter yesterday and had some words to say to the people and blogs who pointed at him and called him a fat fatty fuck after TMZ posted pictures of him looking like Mama June’s body double while strolling through LAX. (Pssh, he wishes he was that smexy.)
Thanks to those pictures, Rob’s body trended on Twitter and story after story came out about how he’s going to fat camp and is flying his trainer to Paris for Kim’s wedding. Rob went on Twitter this morning and said that he knows he’s got chunk for days and he, a dumb trick who needs centuries of therapy for being in that piece of trash family, isn’t getting therapy, because he doesn’t believe in it.
Rob threw that “I love you” at Khloezilla, because she threatened to stomp on all of the houses of the haters who called Rob fat. And while Khloezilla tweeted about how sickened she is by all the shallow and vain people out there, her family’s traveling plastic surgeon lipoed out the croissant platter she had for breakfast as a dermatologist injected ten gallons of Botox into her mug.
This is all just a STUNT, obviously. Rob probably wears a fat suit and spends hours in a make-up chair getting prosthetics. It’s all part of Pimp Mama Kris’ plan to get him a six-figure contract with Jenny Craig and make him the face b-hole of the Kardashian’s new line of laxatives (I know, permanently full shit bags selling laxatives, what a world). Or maybe Rob is for real fat and if he is, who cares? I don’t know why people are making such a big deal about it. If Rob doesn’t want to work out, Rob shouldn’t work out. If Rob wants to eat whatever he wants, Rob should eat whatever he wants. (And yes, that’s your cue to pour delicious coconut pecan frosting all over PMK and push her toward Rob.)
And here’s Rob’s niece Baby North in Paris today wondering where her mommy (aka the nanny) is and wondering why that strange mannequin creature is holding her.
Pics: Splash