You might’ve already seen this last night when your local news broke into a breaking news story about Beyonce’s staged family portrait to bring you this highly important breaking news story, but just in case…
Matthew McConaughey was in New Orleans to do the Amazing Race (not the show, it’s a local charity event) with football type Drew Brees and Brad Pitt was also in town for the Make It Right Gala. On Saturday, Brad came out on his balcony while his fellow stank stoner the Texas T-Rex and his family and friends were on a balcony across the way and they screamed at each other back and forth for a little bit before deciding that they should give their adoring subjects a real show. Maddox’s dad went inside, grabbed a beer and then tossed it to the Texas T-Rex who caught it with those little muscley arms of his.
THIS IS NEWS!
But really, it is news for two reasons. 1. When Brad tosses a beer, he looks derpy in the most fabulous way. The jazz hand and that glimmer in his eye like he just imagined Matthew McConaughey as a giant bong.
2. Dozens of people who witnessed this historical event were rushed to the hospital and had to be treated for armpit stank inhalation. Doctors told them that if they should ever find themselves around Brad Pitt and the Texas T-Rex again, they should immediately put on a mask. Because when Brad and the Texas T-Rex raise their arms at the same time, four giant brown clouds of toxic nastiness fill the air and the stench is strong enough to knock out several herds of elephants. For that brief moment when Brad and the Texas T-Rex had their arms up, New Orleans stole the title of Most Polluted City in the US from reigning champion L.A.